:/

i know i don't like that he is always clingy, but lately that he hasn't been i feel like i'm losing him.. and i don't know. i know i'm not; but he is too touchy when he is at my house and i can't stand it. and i don't feel like we suit each other's lives... it's sad that now all of a sudden i don't believe we could last..
but i want him, i do! and i'm not sure if i'm feeling this because i think he lusts me.. or because of justin. and yes, justin, ugh.. what is wrong with me? do i always do this? will i forever fo this? i do this to myself, but tell me why? i don't understand.. mayeb he just won't last with me, because he doesn;t know my bad side, the monster in me, that i hate when he feels me.. if i could say what i want to say.. it'd change every now and then because i can't keep the things i get when i'm with him than when i'm not with him by me.. and sometimes i do, sometimes i don't. time changes everything.

total babe:)

want.

<3

so, cody's been texting me so i finally texted back and he wants to chill so i told him i have a boyfriend and he still wants to hangout with me:) cool.

but now that i do have my retainer back in my mouth after months of it not being in, my teeth hurt like a mofo! and i hope the pain goes away in a few days.. ugh! but yeah, i guess it is all worth it, i've had braces for four years, i want some perfect looken' teeth! but yeahh.


beauty is pain.

this is my retainer, it glows in the dark, be jelly(:

lol!

<3

taco bell(:

she is sooooo pretty!

this is how i do my hair most days.

ugh,

now that i know he still loves me and has feelings for me still it's weird.. because i am happy with somebody else, i have feelings with somebody else. but a bit of me does feel guilty for that somebody not being him...
but i called it. i said "i'm going to find somebody else and when i do, it won't be you and you won't be okay with it." and look, i found somebody, who isn't him, and he isn't okay with it.
but i'm not going to leave duke for that, i like him wayy too much.. kind of love him? i say kind of because i don't want to as well as i'm not sure if i do or not. but my feelings for him are strong, so nothing will break them.

sorry i'm with somebody who isn't you<3

"i like to have holy candles in my room, they make me feel better about myself." lol!

yummmm.

see this? i'm happy(: