I'm just beyond annoyed and upset. And it's really just not okay. What the FUCK.

If another person fucks me over or hurts me I honestly think I'll hit my breaking point.

Whatever.

Sick of this bullshit.

i just see him and want to ball my eyes out ):

"people do change."
it's true. i always forget people can change. they just take forever to do it.

but i'm just not that strong.

because we both know i want you more than you want me.

haha this bitch that drove next to me was totally picking her nose.

why do reality shows and movies always gotta make the white people seem so dumb?
smh.

my daddyo just noticed my bangs being blonde -__-

i can't wait to move.
this heartache is getting old.

why do we feel certain feelings even though we know we're better off?

god, i really hate myself sometimes. crying on my way back home. i just hate myself for the stupid feelings i have for stupid people.

once yous uh slut, yous uh slut FO LYFE!

timesluts.
SLUT!

they are playing we are family dubstep lol.

but you'll never have any idea ever about how much you've hurt me.. and how much i wish i'm everything you need.

if it makes you less sad, i'll pretend to be anything you want and everything you need.
because that's how much i care.

it's so hard to not get taken in by your charm. it gets me everytime.
i love it, i hate it.
it ruins me and destroys me.
i love it. it's worth everything.

"I want to sex your monkey"
hahahaha!

my nanaa tried saying she knows when i'm lying.
psh, girl no you do not!

like god.
is it impossible to say no? because everytime he talks to me i remember why i liked him so much :/ even if he hurt me.

so fucking weird. omg. like crazy weird.
i just was having a dream about jay and when i woke up i had a text from him.

"take care of your DUI." "take care of your sex."

watching johnny test happy sunday!

what idiot keeps his beard when he is blonde?
lol you can barely see it, tis pointless to have.

lol i miss you sooo much and i hate every bit of it.
my skin is lonely without yours against mine.
since you've been out, i feel some void.

you're not someone i want to miss. but i miss you.

#NP THE BLACK KEYS- YOU'RE THE ONE.
gabbie and i were talking about them earlier (:

you float like a feather,
in a beautiful world.
i wish i was special,
you're so fucking special.

when you were here before,
couldn't look you in the eye.
you're just like an angel,
your skin makes me cry.

days like these makes me want to go camping!
yupp, i miss camping.

this summer i'm about to get hella tan! i've never been this dark before and it's barely summer time. HA.

black magic woman by fleetwood mac is the LONGEST song omg.

#NP BEASTIE BOYS- BRASS MONKEY.
lol good ol' beastie boys.

i'll be on my own way to whatever it is i want.
my friends can't keep me back from doing something; no matter how hard it'll be without them.

forget all the worries i have. i'm excited to be leaving this crap town.
forget this place and the douche bag who owns my last heartache.

i want some ice cream.

Joel McHale, marry me.

This summer was going to be the best, with all my friends before everyone leaves but it turns out that i'm leaving before them.

i'm excited but nervous to leave home.
i want it but i don't want to leave my friends.
torn.

obviously you've changed and i just can't stand it.
i don't even know you anymore. you used to be so flawless.

ugh ):

the sand man hates me!
<\3

now i remember why i never let angel sleep with me -__-
cuz she be purring hella for no reason!
i want my kitty ;'l

ssssssnnnnnnaaaaaaccckkk ttymeee bithes!

like tf bitch, change that shit!

so it totally grinds my gear that her status has yet to change to what it should.

but now i'm wide awake with ears ringing!

that concert was soooo amazing!
i'm glad samm got to come :D
her first concert, my little girl growing up (':

told my dad about the other button i want. and he said okay then he is all like "well when is it going to stop?" just cuz i got a piercing -__-

never go to sleep before ten because then you wake up at twelve and can't go back to sleep -__-

i don't get this movie -____-
people are jerks and all mad for no reason and the water is infected? sounds good -_-

boys are so stupid they don't realize how stupid they are.

don't want to live somebody else's life.

samm texting her hos lol.

my kitty<3

jess and i before prom(:

i think i dropped a cigarette on my foot saturday because i have a little burn mark on my left foot that hurts.

at 10:10 hazzle tweeted me and at 6:06 kevin cash accepted my friend request. lol.

we have a DQ in our mall now, i think. uhm i want some DQ!

my computer is complete poop -____- fml.

you, you make me laugh with your existance.
with your 'excuse' of still not leaving and never coming back.

a lot of this family drama has honestly got to me. it's gotten to my heart for a few years and it's turned it stone for certain people and subjects.

you're such an ugly, ugly person with such a beautiful, beautiful face.

i'm just going to stay in bed for the rest of the day. might as well P:

my nose won't stop running ):

i need to fucking puke. sleep for twelve hours. then maybe, just maybe, i'll feel better x___x

i'm sick ): and i think i'm going to puke. i will NEVER go as hard as i did last night with the partying.
i went too hard in the paint as kyle would call it.

just listening to pandora, hella happy, just loving life <3

might as well be walking on the sunnn <3

hella bitches just don't like me P:

everything will fall into it's rightful place...
that's all i'm waiting for.

these feelings i had for you mean nothing anymore.
because that is simply what you deserve.

i'm laying in this stupid bed, where so many other people has slept and laid but the only person i can think about is when you laid here with me.

everyone is on that tattoo hype.

i just don't have faith in you like i used to.

My tummy needs food and my body needs sleep.

it was like in a blink of an eye the guy you thought you were about to be with, the guy you wanted the most was there & in one blink he gets a gf thats not you.

a minute is feeling like an hour!

i want a massage
*_____________*

i changed my eyebrow piercing today :D

today, i'm going to paint the rest of my phone all glittery like i did the back of it.
the only bad thing about that is it's going to take time to dry.

kitty and me watching a movie <3

my phone keeps messing up :/

i'm not good at keeping you off my mind.
keeping you out my thoughts.
or out my heart.
the only sad thing about that is i know that's where i'm not.
but idc.

if you wanna be dumb you gotta be tough.

i wish i wasn't scared of heights P:
or bees..
or spiders.
lol.

sucking your thumb when you're seven years old is NOT cute. grow the fuck up, baby.

i will never leave my house in shorts again -____-

flirt with annoying eric cuz i'm boredddd.

i wish my daddyo would hurry up and wake up. i want to leave.

you cry more than a baby! toughen up girl.

i miss kitty. he is my world.

"I was a mistake 2. So lets make the best of it, enjoy life." i think this is the most meaningful thing my dad has ever said.

my head hurts so bad.
my bones are sore.

i miss kitty.

womp womp womp.
no sleep for me.

maybe if i close my eyes and lay real still i could stop my heartbeat.

i've ruined so many things.
i never even had a chance.

end everything, even myself.

i miss my sister.
and all the clothes she has of mine.

there is just no possible way to make my dad proud of me.
i always avoid this feeling, this subject but i can't avoid it forever.

i hate when my dad is 'disappointed' in me. makes me want to start over. like whatever i do, i'll never be good enough to him. i'll never b what he wants me 2b.

but if anything his personality is the same and still annoys the everything out of me.

glennnnn is fucking hotttt. blah, i miss him.

pizza then drugs.

and it's trash day, so the garbage truck is super loud.
blah.

but even if i DID get to relive yesterday, none of you would believe me. it's a sad world we live in!

stupid blue phone and i lost my phone memory card!
ughhhhh!

.____. nevermind my phone is just a fuck up...

do i get to relive a whole day?!

wtf, is today sunday? i thought yesterday was sunday? my phone says today is sunday the 15th!

i woke up at seven and now i can't fall back asleep
-___-

hiding this from my daddyo is kind of hard P:
i just want to be like "aye dad, i got my eyebrow pierced a few days ago" but i rather wait P:

i'm home, in bed, safe from the outside world.
safe from scary black guys lol.

welllllllll tonight was a fail. goodnight.

my eyebrow looks so cooool!

wa uh i am so proud of myself!

it's raining HELLA hard.

"honey, you are a murderer."
way to make something sound so sweet lol.

all nighter? I THINK YES.

i put glitter nail polish on the back of my phone.
and it is so cute c: lol.

dats lyfe doe.

what sucks the most is being so close of having something so flawless but ending up watching some bitch who doesn't deserve it be where i belonged.
bitch.

UGLY BITCHES! MOOOO!

all the problems you have are problems you've made up in your head.

-_________-
then, just like that he is a douche again..
idiot.

just enough to show he cares but not enough to make him seem clingy. at least he is actually sorry.

i wish i could be who my dad wants me to be. but there is no point in feeling bad about that when i could be who i want to be.
it's just life.

kitty sleeps on my pillow like he is the king or something -____-

dove for sunken gold, i took what i could hold but you're still the greatest tresor i've held in my hands.

if only to be near you, to have you and to hear you. isn't that what time is for?

stupid mother nature fucking up our seasons -__- dumb bitch.

just being still and feeling the poison running in my blood, throughout my whole body. filling all the holes, the voids nothing else could fix.

i'll never understand why you left when we were so flawless together,
but i'll never hold it against you.
because i see right threw the pain and hurt.

It feels hella early for no reason.

i wonder where my daddyo is?

though, i kind of believe that there is going to be more.
it isn't over.
at least not yet.

but there is no way i could lie and say i don't miss him.
i miss him and wish him back.

i don't understand why he went back, but all i know is he made a mistake. and everyone knows it, even himself.

happy easter.

you are my queen, rebecca!

ugh, do i have to look nice tomorrow?
lammmmeeeeeee.

i hate having dreams that we are together in. that we have a thing.. that i'd do anything for you. i hate this. i want you out.

i hate having dreams where YOU are still a part of ME.

My makeup bag smells like ports lol.

ive became numb to when certain people hurt me, but when i bring the pain to the surface it hurts way worse than if i didn't block it out in the first place...

i didn't think it would be this tough. i just want to cry myself to sleep and never wake up.

everything in my life is going wrong. i can only stay strong for so long..

sally sold sarah's sea shells by the stupid sea shore, sarah should slap sally so she shouldn't be a sassy slut!

how am i suppose to feel after you put me in that awkward fucked up situation?
how am i suppose to stop missing and wanting you?

i freaken stepped on three snails alrighty and i'm not even done walking -___-

advil pleaseeeeeee!

there is so much i want to do,
but idk if i could do them.

i just don't want to fail :l

like if i stay away from home after this summer, life will still be a party, i'll still be safe from growing up and dealing with real life.

id rather stay with toni after summer & find a school there i could go to.
because after this summer if i do stay, idk how real life will get..
i'm not ready...

but for sure if kylekyle goes to college in LV of course i'd have to stay with toni and see kyle!
maybe i'll find a jr college there to go to.

but i DO hope i stay with her at least a week. that'd be super cool. she could teach me how to cook (:

if i stay with toni during the summer or after the summer i'll have no clue what i'd do with my life there. i'd have to make new friends, find a job and stuff.

I miss my long hair.

but i'd also like to take new senior pictures as well! first one i didn't change my outfit.
and i had my long hair.
and i was with brittany.

fucking brian!
said he'd try to have my senior pictures done by my birthday and that was last monst -____-
i would like them before i graduate!

if i had any superpower, i would totally be able to pick things up with my mind!
hell yeahh lol.

and i also need a touch up with my button now though.
i'm so mad it's red though! i asked for a pink button! it looks red!

my other button will be light pink for the shading then hot pink for the outline.

but his name, or my other button? idk... i mean, i'd like both but what one should i get first?

tomorrow will be 18 years kurt cobain has been at rest...
:/
i'm thinking about getting his name on my foot.

i want a new phone P:
blah.

lol my best friend hates me!

i'll put my summer list in it, pictures from HS and 2012 summer and some other stuff i guess. idk. i'm excited about it though!

i know ive been talking about making a time capsule forever haha but i'm just going to make a little one for me and at the end of summer i'll finish it.

this summer, is going to be thee best. we're going to go all out.
but i need a camera so i can do my own little time capsule.

i wish my camera wasn't broken :/
like, it's soooo hard to live without it. i need A camera!
ugh ugh ugh blah ):

even though i don't go to an actual school, this spring break is good (:
it's being so productive haha.

i'm pretty excited for friday though!
get to see tony, finally!
going to chill wif samm, tony, gabbie and frank lol.

but i'm happy, i'm living my life to the fullest i can.
i just wish i still had you in my life, at least to see me now.

i wish you stayed with me.
i wish we never got so close.
i wish you could understand what you did to me.

but i guess walls are pretty much bottled up feelings.
those feelings you keep to yourself because of some type of fear you have.
fear is the heart of love.

walls are NOT strong enough, never enough to keep whatever out, but always enough to keep something in.
walls are NOT strong enough.

"Put no one under pressure, least of all yourself. Take life as it comes. You could find that certain fears are groundless."

i embraces life to the fullest. i believe in peace, love and happiness.

you might be a redneck jedi if: you use your light saber as a bug zapper.

LOL.

so far,

it's been a rough year, but one of the best years.

you lose some and win some.

i love this picture.

(:

always a fun day wif these two!

THERE WAS A SPIDER ON ME, I FEEL LIKE DYING! OH MY GOSH!!

kitty is so cute, he jumps on the fish tank, grabs their food container with his mouth then jumps down with it hahaha.

so my goal is to stay up alll night and alllll day and hopefully pass out tomorrow night.

"don't be friends with people you want to fuck."

why would i want the london look when i'm in america, bitch?

wtf am i doing -_____-
i need to try to fall back asleep!! ugh!

maybe rockville?
if it ain't muddy!

hmm, i wonder if kyle and i are going to hang out today.
yesterday we said we'd do something today but idk what because we are both so broke lol.

my sleeping schedule is alrighty so messed up though.

i better not stay up till eight in the morning then sleep till two! that always ruins my sleeping schedule!

like omg
do birds ever stfu?
how annoying -___-
i can't even fall back asleep.

-______- i hate birds.

i hate when my dad tells me stuff when i'm half asleep, nigga i don't remember shit!

I JUST MADE THE BEST FUCKING GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH IN THE WORLD at three in the morning!!

hot hot hot so very hawt.

That was hawt.

#NP BUSH- COME DOWN.

is it extremely gross i still haven't taken a shower & washed my hair?
i puked in it but i washed some of it out of my hair last night lol.

beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice.

I hope my dad leaves soon for work.
i don't feel like being around him in my condition...

I'm so upset i puked in kylekyle's car!
ew, fucking all on his door! i tried cleaning it up this morning but fuck it, omg.

whenever i come home with a hangover, i always heat some food up then eat it in my bed and pass the fuck outtt!

I got hellsa dot on me!!

I walked an extra block just so i wouldn't have to walk past tim. lol.

when courtney talks to babies <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

CAYDEN SNEEZED IN MY FACE!

why would you burp a baby right next to me while i'm eating
-________-

i'm so ghlad that justin cam over.
goodnight <3

i'm going to take a fifteen minute power nap then go back to rockville!

you're just a person.
just a boy, with two eyes, a loving family and weed...
that's all you are, just a person.

i shouldnt still fucking want u after what happened.
i shouldnt still want u after you put me in that awkward fucked up situation.
god, you're just a person.

and i hate that even in my dreams i still want you.
i want to touch you, kiss you, cuddle with you, i still want you.
fuck dreams. they don't mean shittt.

i hate to fucking dream, cuz i know that's where you'll always be.
i hate seeing you in my own dreamland.

i actually want to ask if he will buy me some special pills that helps people fall asleep faster.

i've been thinking about telling my dad that at night i can't sleep, it takes me hours to fall asleep. even when i'm tired. except when i'm high.

so i don't really want to know...
and it doesn't even matter.

but since he moved and has been dating his bitch ex,
i wonder if he has those glow in the dark starts i gave him up?
dying to know, scared to find out.

but i'm so over it that i don't care at all.
i don't care about anything.
it's all just whatever.

i miss him.
i miss his laugh.
i miss his stories.
i miss his family.
i miss his smell.
i miss his bed.
i miss his voice.
i miss hearing him.
i
miss
him.
a lot.

these sweats are his. but it's so weird. i've had them for so long they feel like mine. i don't think about him when i put them on.. i miss that, i miss him.

i'm so nice, i should get an award!

i don't even wanna party, i just want to watch rugrats nigga!

#NP BAND OF HORSES- THE END'S NOT NEAR.

jessica needs to put clothes on -___- whore.

0___________0
wale this sucks... lol.

i get my hopes up too much
-_____________-

omg.
i'm so glad i can put regular lotion on my button.

igor called me stupid so i went off on him and he hasn't texted me back since!
ha! fucking prick.

just because i like to have fun and enjoy my life to the fullest, don't look down on me asshole.

whoa, igor just called me stupid.

i live in california, in the slumps, you think i don't know about drugs? you think i don't do drugs?

it grinds my gear when people who don't do drugs or are hella young try to tell me about drugs.
tf nigga?

last year when it was my bday and you texted me happy birthday i texted back saying thank you even when i was dating duke. don't be a d bag cuz you got a gf.

#NP THE WHITE STRIPES- SEVEN NATION ARMY.

if you think rats are cute... eww.

lol i'm actually thinking about walking to the gas station to buy me a pack of ports.

hopefully tonight samm and i see donald :D

gahh, well i guess that's how my days usually go.
boring during the day, partyyying during the night lol.

today is soooo boring boring boringgg!
what did i wake uppp?

does this make me a whore?
lightweight yes.

lol wtf?

oh hey, look what's not new.
i can't sleep. yayy -___-

i'm glad i got to see and hang out with brie today. at least one sister still loves me <3
and one is all i need..

My crab died ):

my best friend doesn't know what area 51 is....
idk how to feel about this.

can'ttttttttttt sleeeeeeeeep!

today, i've been putting honey & brown sugar on my face for it to moisture my face or something. lol.

ughhhhh, summer needs to hurry up!
i'm never excited about summer, but this summer is about to be crackin' nigga!

i'm actually excited to get this piercing c:
and i can't wait till i get my other button! the color should be purple... yupp c:

i also heard the eyebrow piercing is the least painful piercing. hurts just as bad as getting your eyes pierced.. which doesn't hurt at all.

HA,
i'm thinking about not getting my eyebrow piercing because it 'hurts' wtf. lol i got a tattoo! i can get this piercing!

My face is soooo sticky lol.
IS IT WORKING???!????

#NP PHOENIX- GIRLFRIEND.

I miss a lot of people that prolly don't even think about missing me.

vaffanculo c: lol.
bitch!

I'd much rather end things my own than watch them slowly slip away.

i'd rather burn out than fade away.
like my hero said "it's better to burn out than fade away."
kurt cobain.

but he called & i let it go to voice mail soo idk if he knows now cuz my answer thingy says "hannah banana" he might only know me as beth.
-__- idk idc.

everytime i text chris he always asks who this is -__- so i'm just going to not text him.

can i go back to sleep?

can i go back to sleep?

i'm lightweight trippin'
but tryna calm myself because my anxiety will get really bad.

i won't save you anymore, you pray to god i'll give you one more chance. i cried a thousand rivers, but none over you.

but this feelin' is weird,
i'm kind of sleepy and kind of hungry.
this never happens! hahahaha.

i had such a goooooood freaken night.
actually, alllll of yesterday was good!
c:

making me some mac n cheese <3

i need to hair dry my hair but my daddyo is sleeping!
ughhhhh!

TOP RAMEN TIME!

there ain't any line i'll ever walk.

always be a good boy, don't you mess around with guns.

hmmf,
i can't sleep :l

i need sleep though!
because i'm going to school tomorrow!
and i need to get all dolled up!

it just shows who is the more grown up person;
and in this situation it's me.

people are going to hate you sooner than later though.
nothing much you can change about that.

actually, i'm missing a lot of things...
and my older sisters are mainly it.
ugh, i hate when people hate me.

but whatevvv,
i honestly just miss what we had.

I ain't talking about what could have been,
i'm talking about what should have been.

even if it's hard enough knowing they aren't mine anymore.
though, he never truly was.
blah, he should have been.

i just need to put my big girl pants on and go to school tomorrow...
even if someone is there that i don't want to see P:
because i'm ready, to move on.

#NP THE BLACK KEYS- GOLD ON THE CEILING.

the fox strikes again!!

hahaha! dumb!

oh let's be a bitch to hannah.

lol there is still sand in my bag from sdd.

i'm not talking about forever, i'm just talking about now.

goodnight sluts.

wilky is leaving ): omg!
my heart! it's breaking!

picking up my little cousin from school and when she saw me her face was like 0:
wait till she knows i'm taking her for ice cream laterrrr (:

i keep messing up, screwing up. but still not giving a fucking.

what a pretty pretty day outside for gabbie's special day!
finally eighteen :D

unicorn or a slutty horse?

juice and a grilled cheese,
make me feel better!

My drunk ass left helllllaa shit at gabbie's house!
whatevvv!
got an hour sleep!
now i'm in my hown bed about to pass outttt!
peace sluts!

it feeels like one in the morning but it's five!

last hour of st patties fday im totally going to make it fuckibg worht it and if not then i'ma be hella chill and wait to fucking live it uppp!

everytime i try to leave something keeps pulling me back me back telling me i need you in my life.

happy ST. Patricks day everyone!

i see everyone with long hair, and all the cute hair styles they do, and i miss my long hair so much ):

it's cute that samm's parents wake up at the same time <3

when you're waiting for something and timee is going sooo slow <<<<<<<

-____-
yeahhh.

fifteen more minutes, then i'll gather my stuff together and go home!

i really really want a new phone ):
this one is a whore!

soooo,
i really hope i rolled my windows up in my car lol.
i think i did!

but i wonder if it'll always feel like this, or will it go back to how it naturally is, smooth and soft.

finally,
it's almost been two weeks and my button is all the way healed.
yayy <3

lifted trucks >>>> sport cars.

if i could meet anyone, i'd want to meet kurt cobain <3

oh and charlie sheen, duhh.

i loveeeee the rain but my loveeeee can onlyyyy go so farrrrr!

the hard times are sometimes the best times.

what if, for one whole day everybody said exactly what they felt?
who would still be friends at the end of the day?
and who would become friends with who?
hmm.

also, i will sew on some buttons c:
you can never go wrong with buttons!

ehhh,
maybe i'll sew a little pocket on the inside of my new bag.
i hate not having a pocked on the inside of bags.
lol yeahhh...

todo list:
get home,
go on the computer,
tighty up my room,
take a shower,
get ready,
warm up soup,
find out where sarina lives,
go see sarina!

i'm just waiting for it to be a good time to start my day.. even tho i had an all nighter, i like to wait till it's not too early to get ready and stuff.

i'll wait an hour, then i'll leave...

when you're hella up, but tired and you have so much to say but toooooo lazy to talk lol.
whoa.

#NP NIRVANA- SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT.
i fucking love kurt cobains voice, i love him, his lyrics, everything.

just because i got a cute little bow in my hair doesn't mean i won't fuck shit up BITCH.

MY LICENSE CAME IN THE MAIL :D
omg omg omg!
it's sooooo ugly!

#NP PEARL JAM- YELLOW LEDBETTER.
i usually like their songs, this one is okay.

#NP ALICE IN CHAINS- GOT ME WRONG.

rollin' some j's and i hear my dad wake up -___-
scary feeling lol.

Now that my tattoo is all finally healed, i'm going to go get it touched up because the dude did a shit job!
ughh it took so long to get all better too!
ahh!

everyone is either sick with a weird cold or have the flu.
like danggg, it sucks. i had that stupid cold for like three weeks!

my dad is still sleeeepinggg.
wahhhh.

i stopped petting my cat sisi and he bit me D:

i'm not waiting for anything, i'm going with the flow.

my dad looked like a caveman when he was younger hahahaha.

rainy california.

#whenpeople eat butter fingers and enjoy it, ew.

#whenpeople assume things too often, you learn to not trust them.

#whenpeople say 'epic' in a serious matter, lol uhh whoa there buddy, calm down.

#whenpeople are sarcastic all the time i will never take them seriously.

i have the cutest little kitty in the whole world!

when people ask me if they look fat -______-
stfu.
lol i hate when people ask that.

idiot brian needs to send me my senior pictures. should have got it professionally done, not by family friends.

i know i'm a few months ahead of myself, but i can't wait for july fourth! omg c:

"don't look at me, look away!"
hahaha!

if things don't change soon, i'm going to make them change.

i've had it, so much shit has happened. i haven't done anything wrong yet i'm the one feelin' like shit.

it's so weird how i feel after i write about things.
as if it makes it a little more real, and if it hurts, it hurts a little less.

happy birthday daddyo!

these drag queens are prettier than me -__-

tomorrow is the last episode of PLL and i have nobody to watch it with... :/

with jessica getting her tattoo!
the guy doing her tattoo is hottttt.

clean room,
shower,
get ready,
clean car ish,
then go to birthday party.

whatever, this is how it's going to be then i'm ready for it.

it's five oh clock somewhere (:
feelin' the buzzzz.

i'm still the same me.

woke up with gum in my mouth.. time for more sleep!

brawl for me, actions speak louder than words.

but gabbie is my nigga till the end, samm is my bff...
:/

gabbie and i got bffs bracelets :D
hella bad ass!

today was a lot of fun though, super long day! wish chels and i could've stayed the night with gabbie!

why do people have to be so mean to other people?
and if it's something from the past, move on, people do change. just guard your cold hart!
-__-

my button is peeling and idk what to do ):

i would just wake up..

my tattoo is itchy ):
but i can't scratch it!

there is nothing i can do, i can't change what happened, what i said. i can't change anything so i'm just going with the flow.

but it's my choice to be happy and smile, so i am happy and i choose to smile.
even if i hate this moment in life.
i will be fine.

so much stuff has happened.
ugh.
so much bad stuff.

but i don't really regret any of those things. i'm really glad we gotten close and hung out. just wish things were the same.

i regret thinking your flaws were all so perfect.
i regret thinking you and me were perfect together.

i regret thinking i knew you.
thinking you were true.

i regret spending time with you so often that i thought i knew you.

ron white IS my hero.

bought my first pack of cigs! not for me though, for jess and tommy.

push comes to shove.
my heart feels solid.

but all i want is for this time to pass. i want her to keep the baby. i want people to thank me for speaking up. i want to not hate myself at this moment );

not talking to my best friend because she hurt me and its not okay.
my sisters hate me because i'm standing up for something... even if it means them hating me.

tonight, i'm going to cry myself to sleep.
because my sisters hate me. i'm not talking to my best friend. and i feel like i stand against the world.

i'm expecting to get an angry text from my sister...
l:

betty white is so cute.

airports will be the death of me.

B always goes before G! i don't want to stay here ): i just want to go home.

thanks for for 'going all out' this year to make up all the other bdays i had that you ruined.

i keep hitting my wrist and it hurts!
omg!

but i think i'd only get the peace sign because it's round.. i'd way rather get something meaningful and something more me.

i'm thinking if i do get another tattoo, i'll get a peace sign on my other wrist same size as my button and in the same spot.

lol ain't no amount of makeup caked on will hide this tattoo.

i missed ron white :( oh how my heart aches!

goodbye california <3

I WILL ALWAYS CALL IT A COCKPIT! NIGGA WHAT'S A FLIGHT DECK?

today is the last day i'm seventeen.

i forgot to bring a blanket :/ i never forget to bring a blanket.

haha when i use my debit card it says happy birthday c:

#NP EVE 6- INSIDE OUT.

"being negative and hurting someones feelings is no way to win."

but i am going to do some laundry tonight.

But that's a fucked up thing to do then.
someone is with someone different now and yet you have dreams aboutthem being better off with you.
but it's true.

kay, maybee that last one was a liee..
whatever.

i'm so over it too.

but why do i keep having dreams about being with him? it's getting annoying, everytime i close my eyes i see his.. blah.

well i feel like hell.
maybe still a bit drunk. idk.

what about me?

it's unfair, and cruel that he is moving to suisun. not just to any part in suisun, to the marina.

i feel like my heart just broke all over again.

it should have been me.. me that you ended up with!

i think i'm just going to write this all in my journal.

i miss him too much. but i refuse to text him.. it just won't be okay. i don't want to talk to him. i just want to know how he's doing...

:( why do boys have to break girls hearts?

fuck, i've been up for like two days. i need sleep.

My teef hurt.

maybe i could get people to call me dr.beff

talking about STD's doesn't need to be so hard bro, put your boner away.

you're animal, kiss me!
lol wtf, i love this show!

wanna bake a cake later? it makes the day fly by.

meet me in the coffee isle.

what the fuck is wrong with him?

i
fucking
hate
taco
to
death.
omg.

when a nice person is annoying the everything out of you but you don't want to hurt their feelings or be mean..

my all nighter was successful, very successful.

less love
more sex
no calls
just texts
new boy
no ex
more sleep
no stress.

i need money so i could buy whatever sparkles in my eye.

MY TOAST IS READY!

HAPPY LEAP DAY :D

i wish i was good at drawing.
or at anything lol.

can'tttttttt sleeeeeeeep.

NO MORE TACO TIME!

taco has peed in my room FOR THE LAST TIME!

though i can't help but miss you.
not the kind of miss like a friend.
it's deep, dark and depressing kind of miss you.

useless memories.

but now you're gone.
and all that's left are these useless memories.

two less lonely people.
it was you,
and it was me.
us, together.
nothing mattered because when you were in my daily life everything was good.

you were lonely and i was lonely. didn't make it right, but at least we had each other.

when taco and mamas sleep in my bed i get so mad -__- i don't want my bed smelling like little dog!

being married is okay if you get juice.
hahahaha c:

someone always ask if i'm mrs.aston's daughter. why would my mom be my teacher?

running into the garage door sober #meatballproblem ha.

my hair smells like beer..........

you didn't have much because there wasn't much to have! dumb!

i would like a ton of new clothes.

asinine idiot.

whatever you got going, i hope it goes horribly wrong. because we'd be horribly right together.

people can't tell me important things when i'm half asleep and expect me to remember!

you had your chance with him. what honestly makes you two think it's going to work out the millionth time?

#NP JASON ALDEAN- DON'T YOU WANNA STAY. we can make forever feel this way.

#NP JERROD NIEMANN- WHAT DO YOU WANT. i love this song.

i was just some girl from your school.
i was just the fuck buddy rebound.
;l

my pride means more to me than you though :/
so whatever.

I WANTED YOU SOO BAD.
not for your dick, not for your weed, not for your looks. but for you. for who i thought i knew.
i wanted you but you chose her over me.

keep making the same mistake. don't worry it's not like you hurt me at all.
it's not like i cried soo much.
lol of course not.

life would be cool if i had a zapper that could make people just disappear. i know who i'd zap right away. fucker.

i've had like a three week cold, i thought i was getting better but now i have a gross little cough.
yayy sickness -_-

no dying it,
no straightening it,
no curling it,
no blow drying it,
lol none of that. i want it to be healthy and stuff... and long!

for my hair, i think i'll just always keep it up in a ponytail hahaha.
it's just too short :(
and i don't want to ruin it.

i need to find new friends in my neighborhood and hang out with them. because all i hang out with here is samm!
blahhh.

gahhh i am soooo boredddd ughhhhh!

lol jacob pocket called me at 4:20.

oops, all my hair is gone.

this morning i forgot i was bald when i woke up, till when i read two texts saying something about my hair :l

my hair was the only thing that made me pretty :(

my hair is so short :( but it looks soo healthy.

i told my aunt i slept with two people and she doesn't believe me!

being over dramatic is my thing.

papa is a moment ruiner -_-

that was the last time i'll wash my beautiful long hair..

#NP KID CUDI- DAY N' NIGHT.

whoa, this week went by crazy fast.
i swear it was just saturday.

dumb slut! you should feel like shit you cheated on him multiple times!

going to get a slushie!!

samm needs to hurry up!
i want to get slushies!

we so cute.

lol not.

making my 'summer' list and there really isn't anything that i can think of doing other than the basic jam..
but this summer is about to be helllaaaa hardcore.

but fuck you.

i'm not even upset.
i'm like, whatever. kind of mad and sad but i know there is nothing i can do so i'm just okay.
mhmm.

todays goals:
watch hella tv,
shower,
pack,
smoke hella weed,
munch,
sleep all night.

frozen yogurt sounds crazy good right now.

im hella mad im going to call in sick for work today.. just because i KNOW i wont be good to work and i prolly don't have a ride..
plus i need my work pemit.

wtf.
foreal?
it's been dang near ten minutes and they won't shut the fuckkk up!

too many dogs be barking at this time!
i'm tryna fall asleep asshole dogs!

omg i need to sleep!
but if i sleep i'm afraid i won't want to get up..
ugh, thug life problems!

like i totally would move and do something, but i'm kind of cold and i'm hella comfortable right now.
lol.

everytime i'm on,
i always want to redo my room or redo my walls or just clean out my room..
hella annoying.
blah.

i don't think i can fall for another guy for awhile.
fuck it.

i don't want to lead you on because you don't deserve to get hurt.
all i see in you, is a super cool friend. i'm not your type & i have a sore heart.
foreal.

dr.oz looks like a fucking tweak.

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!
tommy saw jess and my ping pong shirts!!
it was suppose to be a surprise lol.

ayee 420 (;

i've been sick for over a week, i think i have strep throat.
and i did something to my knee because it hurts whenever i move it a certain way.
P:

who will love you,
who will fight,
who will fall
far behind?

as i lay here in bed thoughts of you keep me awake, thoughts of us help me fall asleep.

once i noticed it was too late, i couldn't change a thing.
i mentally had no time to feel shitty and remember i lost all my self esteem once you were gone.

i asked my dad what is worse:
me being pregnant or me doing drugs. AND HE CAN'T EVEN CHOOSE ONE!

"there ya go i'm an old man and i've said something crazy." hahaha! oh american dad never fails to make me laugh.

MAYBE I'LL TAN!

gahh i need to make friends that live in my neighbor hood!
really!
the only friend i have that lives here is samm!