I walked an extra block just so i wouldn't have to walk past tim. lol.

when courtney talks to babies <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

CAYDEN SNEEZED IN MY FACE!

why would you burp a baby right next to me while i'm eating
-________-

i'm so ghlad that justin cam over.
goodnight <3

i'm going to take a fifteen minute power nap then go back to rockville!

you're just a person.
just a boy, with two eyes, a loving family and weed...
that's all you are, just a person.

i shouldnt still fucking want u after what happened.
i shouldnt still want u after you put me in that awkward fucked up situation.
god, you're just a person.

and i hate that even in my dreams i still want you.
i want to touch you, kiss you, cuddle with you, i still want you.
fuck dreams. they don't mean shittt.

i hate to fucking dream, cuz i know that's where you'll always be.
i hate seeing you in my own dreamland.

i actually want to ask if he will buy me some special pills that helps people fall asleep faster.

i've been thinking about telling my dad that at night i can't sleep, it takes me hours to fall asleep. even when i'm tired. except when i'm high.

so i don't really want to know...
and it doesn't even matter.

but since he moved and has been dating his bitch ex,
i wonder if he has those glow in the dark starts i gave him up?
dying to know, scared to find out.

but i'm so over it that i don't care at all.
i don't care about anything.
it's all just whatever.

i miss him.
i miss his laugh.
i miss his stories.
i miss his family.
i miss his smell.
i miss his bed.
i miss his voice.
i miss hearing him.
i
miss
him.
a lot.

these sweats are his. but it's so weird. i've had them for so long they feel like mine. i don't think about him when i put them on.. i miss that, i miss him.

i'm so nice, i should get an award!

i don't even wanna party, i just want to watch rugrats nigga!

#NP BAND OF HORSES- THE END'S NOT NEAR.

jessica needs to put clothes on -___- whore.

0___________0
wale this sucks... lol.

i get my hopes up too much
-_____________-

omg.
i'm so glad i can put regular lotion on my button.

igor called me stupid so i went off on him and he hasn't texted me back since!
ha! fucking prick.

just because i like to have fun and enjoy my life to the fullest, don't look down on me asshole.

whoa, igor just called me stupid.

i live in california, in the slumps, you think i don't know about drugs? you think i don't do drugs?

it grinds my gear when people who don't do drugs or are hella young try to tell me about drugs.
tf nigga?

last year when it was my bday and you texted me happy birthday i texted back saying thank you even when i was dating duke. don't be a d bag cuz you got a gf.

#NP THE WHITE STRIPES- SEVEN NATION ARMY.

if you think rats are cute... eww.

lol i'm actually thinking about walking to the gas station to buy me a pack of ports.

hopefully tonight samm and i see donald :D

gahh, well i guess that's how my days usually go.
boring during the day, partyyying during the night lol.

today is soooo boring boring boringgg!
what did i wake uppp?

does this make me a whore?
lightweight yes.

lol wtf?

oh hey, look what's not new.
i can't sleep. yayy -___-

i'm glad i got to see and hang out with brie today. at least one sister still loves me <3
and one is all i need..

My crab died ):

my best friend doesn't know what area 51 is....
idk how to feel about this.

can'ttttttttttt sleeeeeeeeep!

today, i've been putting honey & brown sugar on my face for it to moisture my face or something. lol.

ughhhhh, summer needs to hurry up!
i'm never excited about summer, but this summer is about to be crackin' nigga!

i'm actually excited to get this piercing c:
and i can't wait till i get my other button! the color should be purple... yupp c:

i also heard the eyebrow piercing is the least painful piercing. hurts just as bad as getting your eyes pierced.. which doesn't hurt at all.

HA,
i'm thinking about not getting my eyebrow piercing because it 'hurts' wtf. lol i got a tattoo! i can get this piercing!

My face is soooo sticky lol.
IS IT WORKING???!????

#NP PHOENIX- GIRLFRIEND.

I miss a lot of people that prolly don't even think about missing me.

vaffanculo c: lol.
bitch!

I'd much rather end things my own than watch them slowly slip away.

i'd rather burn out than fade away.
like my hero said "it's better to burn out than fade away."
kurt cobain.

but he called & i let it go to voice mail soo idk if he knows now cuz my answer thingy says "hannah banana" he might only know me as beth.
-__- idk idc.

everytime i text chris he always asks who this is -__- so i'm just going to not text him.

can i go back to sleep?

can i go back to sleep?

i'm lightweight trippin'
but tryna calm myself because my anxiety will get really bad.

i won't save you anymore, you pray to god i'll give you one more chance. i cried a thousand rivers, but none over you.

but this feelin' is weird,
i'm kind of sleepy and kind of hungry.
this never happens! hahahaha.

i had such a goooooood freaken night.
actually, alllll of yesterday was good!
c:

making me some mac n cheese <3

i need to hair dry my hair but my daddyo is sleeping!
ughhhhh!

TOP RAMEN TIME!

there ain't any line i'll ever walk.

always be a good boy, don't you mess around with guns.

hmmf,
i can't sleep :l

i need sleep though!
because i'm going to school tomorrow!
and i need to get all dolled up!

it just shows who is the more grown up person;
and in this situation it's me.

people are going to hate you sooner than later though.
nothing much you can change about that.

actually, i'm missing a lot of things...
and my older sisters are mainly it.
ugh, i hate when people hate me.

but whatevvv,
i honestly just miss what we had.

I ain't talking about what could have been,
i'm talking about what should have been.

even if it's hard enough knowing they aren't mine anymore.
though, he never truly was.
blah, he should have been.

i just need to put my big girl pants on and go to school tomorrow...
even if someone is there that i don't want to see P:
because i'm ready, to move on.

#NP THE BLACK KEYS- GOLD ON THE CEILING.

the fox strikes again!!

hahaha! dumb!

oh let's be a bitch to hannah.

lol there is still sand in my bag from sdd.

i'm not talking about forever, i'm just talking about now.

goodnight sluts.

wilky is leaving ): omg!
my heart! it's breaking!

picking up my little cousin from school and when she saw me her face was like 0:
wait till she knows i'm taking her for ice cream laterrrr (:

i keep messing up, screwing up. but still not giving a fucking.

what a pretty pretty day outside for gabbie's special day!
finally eighteen :D

unicorn or a slutty horse?

juice and a grilled cheese,
make me feel better!

My drunk ass left helllllaa shit at gabbie's house!
whatevvv!
got an hour sleep!
now i'm in my hown bed about to pass outttt!
peace sluts!

it feeels like one in the morning but it's five!

last hour of st patties fday im totally going to make it fuckibg worht it and if not then i'ma be hella chill and wait to fucking live it uppp!

everytime i try to leave something keeps pulling me back me back telling me i need you in my life.

happy ST. Patricks day everyone!

i see everyone with long hair, and all the cute hair styles they do, and i miss my long hair so much ):

it's cute that samm's parents wake up at the same time <3

when you're waiting for something and timee is going sooo slow <<<<<<<

-____-
yeahhh.

fifteen more minutes, then i'll gather my stuff together and go home!

i really really want a new phone ):
this one is a whore!

soooo,
i really hope i rolled my windows up in my car lol.
i think i did!

but i wonder if it'll always feel like this, or will it go back to how it naturally is, smooth and soft.

finally,
it's almost been two weeks and my button is all the way healed.
yayy <3

lifted trucks >>>> sport cars.

if i could meet anyone, i'd want to meet kurt cobain <3

oh and charlie sheen, duhh.

i loveeeee the rain but my loveeeee can onlyyyy go so farrrrr!

the hard times are sometimes the best times.

what if, for one whole day everybody said exactly what they felt?
who would still be friends at the end of the day?
and who would become friends with who?
hmm.

also, i will sew on some buttons c:
you can never go wrong with buttons!

ehhh,
maybe i'll sew a little pocket on the inside of my new bag.
i hate not having a pocked on the inside of bags.
lol yeahhh...

todo list:
get home,
go on the computer,
tighty up my room,
take a shower,
get ready,
warm up soup,
find out where sarina lives,
go see sarina!

i'm just waiting for it to be a good time to start my day.. even tho i had an all nighter, i like to wait till it's not too early to get ready and stuff.

i'll wait an hour, then i'll leave...

when you're hella up, but tired and you have so much to say but toooooo lazy to talk lol.
whoa.

#NP NIRVANA- SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT.
i fucking love kurt cobains voice, i love him, his lyrics, everything.

just because i got a cute little bow in my hair doesn't mean i won't fuck shit up BITCH.

MY LICENSE CAME IN THE MAIL :D
omg omg omg!
it's sooooo ugly!

#NP PEARL JAM- YELLOW LEDBETTER.
i usually like their songs, this one is okay.

#NP ALICE IN CHAINS- GOT ME WRONG.

rollin' some j's and i hear my dad wake up -___-
scary feeling lol.

Now that my tattoo is all finally healed, i'm going to go get it touched up because the dude did a shit job!
ughh it took so long to get all better too!
ahh!

everyone is either sick with a weird cold or have the flu.
like danggg, it sucks. i had that stupid cold for like three weeks!

my dad is still sleeeepinggg.
wahhhh.

i stopped petting my cat sisi and he bit me D:

i'm not waiting for anything, i'm going with the flow.

my dad looked like a caveman when he was younger hahahaha.

rainy california.

#whenpeople eat butter fingers and enjoy it, ew.

#whenpeople assume things too often, you learn to not trust them.

#whenpeople say 'epic' in a serious matter, lol uhh whoa there buddy, calm down.

#whenpeople are sarcastic all the time i will never take them seriously.

i have the cutest little kitty in the whole world!

when people ask me if they look fat -______-
stfu.
lol i hate when people ask that.

idiot brian needs to send me my senior pictures. should have got it professionally done, not by family friends.

i know i'm a few months ahead of myself, but i can't wait for july fourth! omg c:

"don't look at me, look away!"
hahaha!

if things don't change soon, i'm going to make them change.

i've had it, so much shit has happened. i haven't done anything wrong yet i'm the one feelin' like shit.

it's so weird how i feel after i write about things.
as if it makes it a little more real, and if it hurts, it hurts a little less.

happy birthday daddyo!

these drag queens are prettier than me -__-

tomorrow is the last episode of PLL and i have nobody to watch it with... :/

with jessica getting her tattoo!
the guy doing her tattoo is hottttt.

clean room,
shower,
get ready,
clean car ish,
then go to birthday party.

whatever, this is how it's going to be then i'm ready for it.

it's five oh clock somewhere (:
feelin' the buzzzz.

i'm still the same me.

woke up with gum in my mouth.. time for more sleep!

brawl for me, actions speak louder than words.

but gabbie is my nigga till the end, samm is my bff...
:/

gabbie and i got bffs bracelets :D
hella bad ass!

today was a lot of fun though, super long day! wish chels and i could've stayed the night with gabbie!

why do people have to be so mean to other people?
and if it's something from the past, move on, people do change. just guard your cold hart!
-__-

my button is peeling and idk what to do ):

i would just wake up..

my tattoo is itchy ):
but i can't scratch it!

there is nothing i can do, i can't change what happened, what i said. i can't change anything so i'm just going with the flow.

but it's my choice to be happy and smile, so i am happy and i choose to smile.
even if i hate this moment in life.
i will be fine.

so much stuff has happened.
ugh.
so much bad stuff.

but i don't really regret any of those things. i'm really glad we gotten close and hung out. just wish things were the same.

i regret thinking your flaws were all so perfect.
i regret thinking you and me were perfect together.

i regret thinking i knew you.
thinking you were true.

i regret spending time with you so often that i thought i knew you.

ron white IS my hero.

bought my first pack of cigs! not for me though, for jess and tommy.

push comes to shove.
my heart feels solid.

but all i want is for this time to pass. i want her to keep the baby. i want people to thank me for speaking up. i want to not hate myself at this moment );

not talking to my best friend because she hurt me and its not okay.
my sisters hate me because i'm standing up for something... even if it means them hating me.

tonight, i'm going to cry myself to sleep.
because my sisters hate me. i'm not talking to my best friend. and i feel like i stand against the world.

i'm expecting to get an angry text from my sister...
l:

betty white is so cute.

airports will be the death of me.

B always goes before G! i don't want to stay here ): i just want to go home.

thanks for for 'going all out' this year to make up all the other bdays i had that you ruined.

i keep hitting my wrist and it hurts!
omg!

but i think i'd only get the peace sign because it's round.. i'd way rather get something meaningful and something more me.

i'm thinking if i do get another tattoo, i'll get a peace sign on my other wrist same size as my button and in the same spot.

lol ain't no amount of makeup caked on will hide this tattoo.

i missed ron white :( oh how my heart aches!

goodbye california <3

I WILL ALWAYS CALL IT A COCKPIT! NIGGA WHAT'S A FLIGHT DECK?

today is the last day i'm seventeen.

i forgot to bring a blanket :/ i never forget to bring a blanket.

haha when i use my debit card it says happy birthday c:

#NP EVE 6- INSIDE OUT.

"being negative and hurting someones feelings is no way to win."

but i am going to do some laundry tonight.

But that's a fucked up thing to do then.
someone is with someone different now and yet you have dreams aboutthem being better off with you.
but it's true.

kay, maybee that last one was a liee..
whatever.

i'm so over it too.

but why do i keep having dreams about being with him? it's getting annoying, everytime i close my eyes i see his.. blah.

well i feel like hell.
maybe still a bit drunk. idk.

what about me?

it's unfair, and cruel that he is moving to suisun. not just to any part in suisun, to the marina.

i feel like my heart just broke all over again.

it should have been me.. me that you ended up with!

i think i'm just going to write this all in my journal.

i miss him too much. but i refuse to text him.. it just won't be okay. i don't want to talk to him. i just want to know how he's doing...

:( why do boys have to break girls hearts?

fuck, i've been up for like two days. i need sleep.

My teef hurt.

maybe i could get people to call me dr.beff

talking about STD's doesn't need to be so hard bro, put your boner away.

you're animal, kiss me!
lol wtf, i love this show!

wanna bake a cake later? it makes the day fly by.

meet me in the coffee isle.

what the fuck is wrong with him?

i
fucking
hate
taco
to
death.
omg.

when a nice person is annoying the everything out of you but you don't want to hurt their feelings or be mean..

my all nighter was successful, very successful.

less love
more sex
no calls
just texts
new boy
no ex
more sleep
no stress.